Four years ago, Thanksgiving meant nothing to me. Now, it’s the holiday I think about the most.
But, have you noticed how Thanksgiving is becoming quieter? People have started skipping family gatherings to avoid awkward conversations with estranged relatives, or treating it as a day off. Maybe you know someone who doesn’t celebrate it anymore; possibly your own family doesn’t. This shift is what made me curious. Some people are busy with work or their personal life, tension between family members, and some just don’t celebrate it at all. And when you look around, it’s easy to find that the holiday doesn’t have that same significance as it once did.
I was part of the group that didn’t celebrate it. Before my family moved to the United States four years ago, we didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. It wasn’t a holiday that we had experienced before and we didn’t understand the whole eating a turkey and pumpkin pie thing. That first November in the United States, we figured we’d just stay home and treat it like any other Thursday.
However one of my dad’s friends said, “If you don’t have any plans, then come join us.” I didn’t know what to expect, but we went anyway. As soon as we walked through the door, we were greeted by warm chaos. People were talking, laughing, arguing, deciding who should make the pie. Even though I didn’t know everyone, I didn’t think I was out of place. It was loud and unfamiliar, but strangely comforting in a way I didn’t expect.
I remember when we were all asked to express what we were thankful for. I felt nervous and didn’t know what to say. Do I say something funny, serious or sentimental? As everyone took their turn, I realized that the answers were all different, but honest. Finally, it was my turn.
“I’m thankful that I have a place to celebrate Thanksgiving and a family that has behaved so welcoming to us.” I said. I stuttered through the words, and though not perfect, they felt genuine.
Every year since then, we’ve returned to that home for Thanksgiving. As we’ve grown closer, we’ve started calling them our “American family.” Moving from Spain had felt exciting but also isolating. You miss the places, the food, and mostly the people who made that place your home. Sitting around that Thanksgiving table surrounded by different cultures, ages and languages gave us a sense of belonging that we never expected.
That experience makes me wonder why there’s less pride in celebrating Thanksgiving lately. If Thanksgiving can change, expand and welcome all kinds of families like ours, then why let it disappear? Why give up on a day that was designated to help us take a break and appreciate all the good things, little and large?
Perhaps part of the issue is that we perceive Thanksgiving as a flawless holiday. But perfection has never truly represented the purpose of Thanksgiving. It functions best when it’s flexible. Observe it with friends, even with your neighbors, as long as it’s someone who makes you feel that you belong. The table doesn’t need to be huge, and the people around it don’t have to share your background to share the moment.
What would Thanksgiving look like if you changed it to fit your life right now? It could include a relaxed dinner. Perhaps it’s Friendsgiving, or inviting someone who doesn’t have a place to go. Maybe it’s just sharing one thing you’re thankful for. It shouldn’t have to be big in order to matter.
My family didn’t grow up with Thanksgiving. Someone opened their homes to us and welcomed us wholeheartedly. That kindness led to a tradition that lives in us forever, and that’s why I think the holiday still matters. I leave you with one final request: Please don’t give up on Thanksgiving.
