Top 10: Reasons Not To Get Turf

  1. We don’t have the money
  2. We love the look of cat litter
  3. Toe-to-thigh casts make your butt look smaller
  4. Now we have a reason for losing
  5. Turf doesn’t look enough like real grass
  6. Hay fever = team bonding
  7. Free mud masks
  8. Possible group discounts on your doctor bills
  9. Ninja weapon of choice: crutches
  10. Making up reasons why we won’t get turf is a great pastime

  A version of this article appeared in print on 21 November 2011, on page 7 of The Shakerite.

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