- We don’t have the money
- We love the look of cat litter
- Toe-to-thigh casts make your butt look smaller
- Now we have a reason for losing
- Turf doesn’t look enough like real grass
- Hay fever = team bonding
- Free mud masks
- Possible group discounts on your doctor bills
- Ninja weapon of choice: crutches
- Making up reasons why we won’t get turf is a great pastime
A version of this article appeared in print on 21 November 2011, on page 7 of The Shakerite.
