How to Survive Winter Break

With 16 days of vacation and crazy, distant relatives looming, The Shakerite offers strategies for maintaining your sanity and maximizing your time in front of the TV

Avoiding Family Time? Here Are 7 Shows to Binge-Watch Over Break

1. “Parks and Recreation.” A hilarious look into government work that doesn’t make Sarah Palin the butt of every joke. As Aziz Ansari’s character Tom Haverford would say, “treat yoself” to watching this show all break.

2. “Gilmore Girls.” You will fall in love with the entertaining world of Stars Hollow and become alarmingly attached to Lorelai and Rory Gilmore’s (Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel) mother-daughter relationship. Choose your favorite boyfriends wisely.

3. “House of Cards.” A cynical take on U.S. politics featuring Kevin Spacey as Frank Underwood, a smooth-talking congressman who you’ll love and hate at the same time. And remember, there is only one rule in politics: hunt or be hunted.

4. “Scandal.” You will not sleep. You will not eat. You will not do anything but lay in bed and watch this show. Also, you will develop a strange urge to wear all white and sip red wine while you plan your enemy’s demise.

5. “Friends.” If you have not yet seen this show, you have not lived. There’s a reason it aired for 10 seasons. Your bed will soon become the iconic orange couch at Central Perk. If anyone asks why you spent all of your time watching “Friends” instead of doing homework, just say, “We were on a break!”

6. “The West Wing.” Watch professional politicians do what they do best in yet another interpretation on U.S. government, this one more idealistic. By the end of winter break, you’ll have mastered the art of the “walk and talk.”

7. “Arrested Development.” An underrated sitcom that will make you wish you belonged to the dysfunctional, but hilarious, Bluth family. Bonus: you get to see Michael Cera live out his awkward tween years on camera. Does it get much better than that?

Creative Replies To Endless Questions About Your Future

1. Great question. Let me get back to you in 10 years.

2. That’s future (your name’s) problem.

3. I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?

4. Oh, look over there! (Run away)

5. Hahahaha . . . (silence)

6. Let me consult my magic crystal ball.

7. I’m starting my job holding a sign on the side of the road next week, so I’ll let you know how that goes.

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