32 Thoughts That Run Through Your Head in the 15 Seconds Before the Next Netflix Episode Begins:

  1. What?
  2. No.
  3. They can’t just end the episode like that.
  4. What about the characters?
  5. What about my sanity?
  6. Are they okay?
  7. What if they died?
  8. How can I be expected to go on when valuable characters’ lives are at stake?
  9. I have to know.
  10. I have to watch the next episode.
  11. No, I can’t.
  12. Think of all the productive things I could be doing instead.
  13. All the starving African children I could be saving.
  14. All the books that are becoming movies that I swore I would read before setting foot in the theater.
  15. All the homework I could be doing to get myself into college.
  16. College.
  17. I wonder if you’ll be able to major in Netflix by the time I have kids.
  18. Kids.
  19. Children.
  20. Think of the children.
  21. Like the children in this TV show.
  22. This TV show.
  23. There’s five seconds left before the next episode starts.
  24. Okay, focus.
  25. Four.
  26. Make the right choice.
  27. Three.
  28. Don’t panic.
  29. Two.
  30. You’re panicking.
  31. One.
  32. Okay, maybe just one more…

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