Dear Michelle Obama,
If you want to make America healthy, don’t single out fundraisers for extra-curricular activities. Kids are going to get the candy anyway. If they don’t get it from a school-funded group, they’ll get it from some sketchy dude with a bag full of Snickers behind the bleachers. Or worse. Heaven forbid, if they don’t get their fill from bake sales, they might start drinking coffee or soda. Cutting bake sales is incredibly short-sighted. If you want drastic change in America’s general health, don’t go for Student Council’s brownies. Go for the threechickensandwichestwochocolatemilksabagochipsPopTartsandicecream diet some people are on now. Available from your friendly neighborhood high school cafeteria every day.
A version of this article appeared in print on 21 November 2011, on page 7 of The Shakerite.